i talked to mr sun last night,
and i read a book in spanish.
feel the sinister innocence,
why can't all this vanish.

the raindrops fell on a sunny day,
i am happily upset.
the opened door is closed,
and i satisfyingly regret.

tears of sadness on a happy face,
joy on a mourning day.
yearn for what u already have,
i have nothing more to say.

many chocolates in a row,
i cannot choose the sweetest.
each have their nicest parts,
non of them have weaknesses.

flippant ways and jovial laughter,
a sly smile from within.
candy sticks and butter scotch,
are all i want to win.

sticky sweet or dusty icing,
i do not really care.
too much sugar is bad for you,
that i do not dare!

unfolding a new beginning today,
i never thought it would be.
the weeks before were forever,
the pain was misery.

i wish a million times for you,
i pray a silent plea.
lady luck came knocking at the door,
its joy that you will see.

silly thoughts danced in my head,
i was scared you'll leave.
now i can be quite assured,
that God has brought you relief.

i can only sit by and wait,
for you to stand again,
till then, my friend, i'll always be,
there to share your pain.

i tell u, the joke about Mr Baboo Singh, its not at all a joke, he exists!!! check this out, he has a tailor shop la...

jesse really went down to pick my bottle!!!

hmm... isn't it fun to be out there with nature? not when ur bottle is down in the water...

the FUN pulau ubin cycling trip... that's us, illegally at the quarry, but its just beautiful isn't it?

see, i'm really chilling it... whee...

we went chilling at TCC after presentation... whee...

YEAH, presentation day that went... erm... ok i guess... haha, but it was fun! whee...

dancing in happiness,
the sun was shining down.
but now the day is over,
and the clouds uncover a frown.

the hidden pain within,
is far from what u see.
the joy i open up before,
is nothing at all me.

i live my life to its fullness,
so that you can have some fun,
and till the happiness flows to u,
my job will not be done.

trudging through the lonely path,
of loss and misery.
feeling the cold, hard wind,
blowing fierce and mercilously.

the light is dim and far away,
the silent prayer within.
long for hope and happiness,
is a yearn that's never seen.

dragging the burden of pain,
the fear of a tragic end.
trying hard to understand,
the complex mind of man.

wow, we went cycling at pulau ubin yesterday!

it was horribly fun! horrible cos i had a bad headache, yet fun cos i spent it with my friends: jaime, jesse and shah! its just makes my day to hang out with this bunch of 'horrid' people who share similar views about the people around us... hmm... don't ask me about it, cos it isn't really nice! haha... im a bitch remember...

oh well, we cycled and cycled... till our siblings and asses hurt... ouch! it really hurts ok. imagine balancing the whole of your body on your ass on a small seat that isn't really comfy... ouch! hmm... we went through the whole of pulau ubin i think, throught the foresty areas... with sick creepy crawlies all around. this big fat female mosquito was like trying to suck my precious blood from my arm... but i kinda squashed it out of shock! oops... its not my fault that you are being greedy. then there was this red ant that bit me on my ankle, which made me scream out the f-word, it wasn't on purpose k!

then we kinda illegally went through this broken frence, to the quarry... it was breath-taking... the water was a sleek emerald, with the rusty cliffs enclosing the waters, and the trees and all decorating and filling up the spaces in between... it was serene... till i kinda threw my bottle on the ground and it kinda bounced off the cliff we were sitting on... and... oops, it fell into the water! for a moment i just stared at it... like for the next minute, time stopped for me... i was like thinking, damn, that was my bestest buddy for the last two years, my brother got it for me, i brought it with me everywhere i went, it was my gym buddy, my weapon against horridly irritating people... and now... its in the water!!! where its filled with slimey fishes and fierce terepins and urgh... lizards! the next thing that happened, was jesse saying that he was gonna get it for me. i was like saying 'are u sure? its ok, its really ok, nevermind'. and next to me was jaime saying 'ya, you can go down and step on the rock, then move down to the other one'! haha... it was really confusing yet funny. but jesse went down anyway... i was like damn scared la... then when he was like halfway, i was like 'jesse, its ok, i hate that bottle, i really don't want it, really, nevermind' i was trying to be nice and save his life, but the next thing i got was him scolding me 'now u tell me nevermind when im already halfway down this cliff and you were like gonna cry over your bottle?' oops... sorry man, my bad!

yeah yeah, he was kinda a 'hero' for rescuing my bottle... ok, jesse is really a nice friend to have, jaime and shah too. just that shah made me angry for always trying to over-take me at the wrong time... when the road is narrow and all rocky and dangerous! but i had fun going really fast down the slopes and having the wind gushing to my face and messing up my hair, but i didn't really cared about that cos i was already dirty and messy... yeah it was fun! thanks to my great bunch of friends... yay... hope we can go kayaking soon!

this is it. lizzie is really gonna leave for good. i really hope i can take it. at least i think i can take it, for now. its been a long long way back since our days in primary and secondary school. jc never really pulled us apart, like now, we're still so close and happy being each other's best friend. she was always my other half, the one who completed what i wasn't. she had in her everything i never had, you could really say that opposites attract. i never felt alone, i was never alone. even without seeing her for maybe two weeks, and when we meet again, everything feels the same, cos we're always smsing each other about our day. i felt as if i lived in her world, and i felt as if she lived in mine too.

but soon, im afraid, that i'll never be able to feel happy again. when im upset, i won't know who to talk to. when i have the best news of all, i have no one to share that with. and when i have a sudden thought that's just ridiculous to everyone else, liz will surely find it ok, who else would find it ok then? i was always the one who comforts, the one who advises, the one who tells her what to do when she's in trouble. when she was feeling down, i was always there to help her smile again. but in time to come, when i'll never be able to smile again, who would be there for me? life would never be the same. i just hope that God will continue to guide us both in our lives, and that our friendship will stay the same.

we're not lesbians by the way.

when joy reveals its happiness,
and jokes came out to play.
i could have joined the happy game,
but it was just not my day.

the glances of fondness hugs,
my heart with flirty butterflies,
while my mind whirls me around,
the dance of foolish lies.

snuggling up in fun and laughter,
i saw a silly smile,
the yearn for security to come,
will take more than a while.

an end to something,
is far far away.
it will never come,
nor will it stay.

a thought in the mind,
will never be true.
what's in the heart,
will guide you.

believe in the faith,
of hope and light.
see through all,
keep up the fight!