trick question:
if you wanna buy 5 birds, but only have enough money for 1 bird, how many more birds do you need to make 5?

answer:
10 000

when things go bad, it's like a rotten apple, it'll never be good again. - Penny Bent

yesterday was bad. today isn't any better. i bet tomorrow will be worse. - Freddy Ashley

little things shouldn't be neglected, they accumulate. - Eva Edna

today
i'm a little bit different
a little bit confused
a little bit angry
a little bit amused

yesterday
was a little bit upset
a little bit of regret
a little bit of sadness
a little bit of madness

dee. you're not who i thought you were... hmm... would you please tell me(or us) who you are?

5 things that are making me upset this week:
1. the ipod is dying
2. i gained weight
3. jaime's present made me poorer
4. im not getting enough sleep
5. i haven't had green bean soup for a long time

6. i miss peter so much. and he bought jean a lily and not me. and he met jean twice over the weekend and not me. and hes going back again to meet jean in 3 three weeks and not me. and he smses her at night and not me. eh wait he does. anyway, i think peter misses me too.

grrr, im getting eczema again! argh!!!! im gonna itch all over. oh grrrrrr...

bottom row: shah, lye urn, jeremiah
second row: felicia, avie, winnie, phoebe, jaime, rafaela, wan ning
third row: faye, shaheen, rachel, qiao lin, kamilia, adeline, evon
top row: justin, kenneth, jestyn

it was a happy year together.

wow, i've been in mass com for over a year. and still i haven't question my presence in this 2nd choice thing. really, i didn't know what got into me. perhaps i'm afraid. i'm always too afraid to challenge myself. i'm too afraid to fail. it sucks doesn't it? but with parents who see failure as a goddamned freaking abnormality, i can't help always trying to be safe. so i always take precautions. i make very sure i know the outcome of things. that whatever i do, it's gonna turn out good. i feel really sad for myself. but it's come to a point where it's so normal that you don't feel it anymore.

for all you who don't know what happened. i dropped out of JC after year1, obviously cos i failed. and i really wanted to go to fashion school. my parents really objected and wanted me to do accountancy. i knew i'd fail in there. i hate studying! so i just randomly found another course they would probably agree with and here i am in mass com. so i was just wondering why i haven't complained about being in here or stating my unhappiness. because... i think i'm quite happy in here.

and so jaime and peter and yien all leave singapore for the weekend. sigh...

I've got a really really horrible habit. It's so horrible that it's evil! It's so evil that it's awfully wicked! It's so awfully wicked that I just can't seem to resist - SHOPPING! grrr... it's evil!

Ok, you must be wondering. 'what's new about phoebe and shopping?' Of cos there's something new today about me and shopping! It was a really horrible afternoon. Jaime and I walked all through town, Far East Plaza, Forever21, Topshop, Mango, Zara, M)phosis. You must think i bought a whole truckload of stuff. Well, you're awfully wrong!!! Why? I wanna know why too... It's not that I'm broke. I've just got some cash. It's not that I'm trying to deprive myself. It's just that I couldnt find anything to buy! Isn't this weird? Yea I think it's awfully weird too! And it's not just me, Jaime couldn't find anything nice to get either. We were two depressed sods walking around town. Sigh... so we decided to just chill with sandwiches and ice lemon teas at Toast.

What's more surprising today? I'm actully blogging with proper punctuation and a capital letter for the words at the beginning of each sentence. Wow!

i was sitting at the locker room at the gym today when a lady commented on her friend's hair saying 'hey, your hair is so beautiful'. now that got me thinking. going to the gym every week filled with women of every possible kind all having similar goals - to look good, physically. other's hope to get fit, but that's beside the point. everyone wants to be beautiful. and the media's ramblings on who's hot and who's not so doesnt help those who aren't so confident in their physical appearance. its just a total bang to their self-esteem. cheers to Dove, on their stand on individual beauty and uniqueness. i like that. confidence is beauty. to love yourself is beautiful.

you wanna know what else i think is beautiful? the birth of a child is beautiful. the precious gift of new life is beautiful. the given unconditional love is beautiful. its just so heart-warming. i just wish people could look into the finer things in life and appreciate more of what we get. and just accept things or people for the way they are.

now... what has gotten into me?

a jumping ant, a crawling frog,
like pouring snow in spring.
feed chickens eggs and fishes fish,
serve bullshit to the king.

so feathers are heavy and rocks are light,
and have a butter with toast.
kick purple sunflowers and happy daisies,
or whatever irritates you most!

school has started, it's the second week and i've learnt a lot:

1. Jaime is really my best friend in school.
2. be nice to your lecturers and be on time.
3. eating weet bix beats anything at the canteens.
4. never take daddy's car, the bus is faster - and safer.
5. guys are unpredictably horrid people, stay clear.

6. i love peter

i wish:

1. liz could come back, or at least visit me soon.
2. i could be nice.
3. i had all the money in the world for shopping, movies, coffee etc.

some random thoughts in school about school then:

yuck a bee, ew a bug.
ack pla one, a piercing sound.
you take that maanet howbourit?
I failed my lit again!

i suppose only liz will get it. i still think of old times liz.

i went to Church of St Mary of the Angels today. it was pretty cool. i like the place, just that Jesus looked a little erm... unfamiliar. i've not guts to describe him here. if you are really itching to find out, just go to St Mary's.

the people in St Mary's are really interesting. i was just observing the deaf/dumb group who were hand signaling the songs since they couldnt sing it out. i was impressed. really, for someone who either cant hear or speak, and to have faith is impressive. i have no idea what i would be like if i lost any one of my senses, probably blaming God for being so mean to me. yet these people smiled now and then while hand signaling the songs, while i tried my best with the unfamiliar tune and words. now and then i still have my doubts. i just didnt know what to think of myself. i was quite disappointed with myself.

i really wonder what life would be like after i get baptised and become a catholic.