wow, i've been in mass com for over a year. and still i haven't question my presence in this 2nd choice thing. really, i didn't know what got into me. perhaps i'm afraid. i'm always too afraid to challenge myself. i'm too afraid to fail. it sucks doesn't it? but with parents who see failure as a goddamned freaking abnormality, i can't help always trying to be safe. so i always take precautions. i make very sure i know the outcome of things. that whatever i do, it's gonna turn out good. i feel really sad for myself. but it's come to a point where it's so normal that you don't feel it anymore.

for all you who don't know what happened. i dropped out of JC after year1, obviously cos i failed. and i really wanted to go to fashion school. my parents really objected and wanted me to do accountancy. i knew i'd fail in there. i hate studying! so i just randomly found another course they would probably agree with and here i am in mass com. so i was just wondering why i haven't complained about being in here or stating my unhappiness. because... i think i'm quite happy in here.