first PR tutorial.

Ms Ang: 'okay everyone, you each have to tell me 3 things. your name in full, according to the name-list, followed by how you want me to address you, and lastly, tell me what you want to be when you grow up.'

and i was thinking: 'this is going to be real hard. shall i say something stupid or shall i be honest? argh, just say whatever comes to my head.'

so all the people before me said stuff like 'i wanna be a journalist, write articles, do radio, tv, marketing.'

and i was thinking: 'argh, and i dont even know if i'll even make it in the media industry!'

when it came to vanessa's turn: 'i wanna be a tai-tai'

and i was thinking: 'damn, i wanted to say that! now because she said it and the class already laughed at it, its going to be so stupid to say it again. and oh argh! its my turn!!!'

and i finally said: 'i wanna be a fashion designer'

Ms Ang: 'hmm.' (and she thought for a long time, with this funny look on her face which i took as a bad sigh) 'and why aren't you studying design then?'

me: 'cos my parents wouldn't let me, they think that there aren't much opportunities here.'

Ms Ang: 'hmm. but right now, it seems as if it isn't that difficult to make it here anymore. oh i shall not insult your parents or go against their ideas. okay, next!'

i felt my face turn red. it always happens whenever i think that im saying something stupid. but saying that i wanted to be a fashion designer just happened. it was the first thing that came into my head. was i being honest? i've not idea. but you know how they say that the first thing that comes to your head is probably what you really want. oh this is such a headache.

then the next day i met glen on the bus, on the way to school, and he asked me if i really wanted to be a fashion designer. i said 'yes', and i think i really meant it. but honestly, i've no idea what's going to happen after i finish mass com, let's just wait and see.

oh i dont even know why i came up with this post.

i scored 82/100 for my art exam last week. i mean, my brother's art exam.

i told you im an artist.

and thinking about art. art makes me happy. its so vague and random that it doesnt have to mean anything. and sometimes you have a finished product, yet you cant exactly explain what it is and why you did it. its just all there for you to admire and intepret it. as i've said, its vague.

sometimes i dont even understand my own piece. but i guess that's the beauty of it.

as i've said, im an artist.

chocolate's really good for you!

and Corduroy and Finch is a great place.

and year 1 classmates are lovely people to hang out with.

i really liked my 'chocolate temptation' dessert and 'absolut vanilla' milkshake.

don't you? peter?

i found this really interesting:

"Life is pleasant. Death is peaceful. It's the transition that's troublesome."

i wonder what it would be like if i die tomorrow.

im scared of dying. of cos im scared to die. there are so many things i've got in this world that i don't wanna leave behind. but if, if i do die tomorrow, i wanna be remembered as:

1. someone who really loved her family, had a space for God in her life.
2. someone who really treasured her friends.
3. a health nut who would have tried to preserve her life a little longer by eating 'hamster food' and apples.
4. someone who was aspiring to be a 'tai-tai' by the age of 30 and a mother of 5 kids.
5. a talented artist who wished she had opportunities to learn.

see you in heaven.

so in the Life! section of The Straits Times today, they talked about skinny celebrities and how women today are so obsessed with being thin. so i've got 5 good reasons why being thin is an advantage:

1. shopping will be so much easier cos the shop will definitely have your size.
2. it feels better to call for size 0 instead of size 8.
3. you wouldn't look pregnant in an empire cut dress.
4. you can say 'im so fat' and your friends can reply 'no, you're not', and mean it.
5. you can order lots of things at a restaurant and the waiter wouldnt look at you and picture you as a cow.

and now for the 5 disadvantages i face for not being thin:

1. i'll be really lucky if i can fit into those 'free-size' shirts from bangkok(who the hell created this stupid size anyway? just go and DIE!)
2. i dont call for the size, i go to the rack and dig it out myself.
3. my mom thinks i look pregnant in my babydoll dress.
4. i always say that im fat and i think my friends are used to it. though lye urn always agrees with an affirmative 'ya lor'.
5. shah, jaime and lye already think im a cow. they call me 'beef'.

so after reading that article and thinking about it all, i figured that if i ever become thin, i might as well be dead. the point is, you'll never see me stick thin. i love myself too much, thanks.

today was a good day. i mean yesterday was a good day. yesterday, you know? like tuesday was a good day. okok yes i think you got it.

we crashed jeremiah's place to watch 2 dvds. it was not too bad. actually it was quite bad. the first movie(40 year old virgin) was literally sex education, while the second(lucky number slevin) was so confusing that i fell asleep halfway and woke up again to be even more confused! how confusing! and it was suppose to be the 7 of us meeting up and it ended with only jaime, shah, jeremiah and me.

later on, winnie joined us for dinner and we chatted for more than 2 hours. its been a long time. a really really long time since we met to talk about stuff. we talked about almost everything possible - our trip to bangkok(jaime, winnie and i), transvestites, sex, dreams, Jackass(this sadistic movie), NS, gym... and that's not the end of the list!

oh and after a stupid comment i made, jeremiah tried to tell me how stupid i was by saying:

"do you know how to spell 'D-U-M..'... oh eh? nevermind."

HAHAHAHA!

yes jeremiah, i know im DUMB! i know how to spell it but you've already answered your question for me. thanks. and the whole table burst out laughing!

its so interesting how we're so different in personality, yet we have so much fun together. oh i love having friends. and im happy for that.

how annoying!

i've finished 11 of the 15 episodes that i have of Prison Break.

and its still so exciting!

so everytime i finish one episode, its just too tempting to watch the next. and that's how i ended up finishing 11 episodes.

and now there's 4 episodes left. its going to be hard.

Prison Break is addictive. no i mean the show, not the guy... ok fine, Wentworth Miller is freaking hot! but i really love the twists and turns in the plot, oh how exciting! it just spins you round and round and i didnt realise that i've spent the whole afternoon watching it till my dad called me out for dinner. and i was suppose to limit my episodes to 2 a week cos i've only got till episode 15 from yien. damn. my hard drive was too small and ran out of space, and till she comes back - in 2 months time, i've gotta keep watching the 15 episodes over and over again till it shows on channel 5. how annoying!

talking about annoying. brothers are annoying. well, at least my brother is. and talking about my brother, i think im the best sister anyone can ask for. i mean, which sister actually does her brother's art work, bitch about his stupid teachers with him, conspire behind our parents back, share chocolates with him, hide in my room past midnight to watch a movie together on my laptop, bring him out together with my classmates for dinner... and the long lovely list goes on. see, im such a nice sister that i cant even believe it myself!

and now that im talking about family, i think i've got the best momma. she actually told me that if i wanted anything, she'll buy it for me and that i shouldnt buy clothes and shoes with my pay cos if i do, she wouldnt buy anything for me anymore. which momma actually tells their kid such stuff? well, my mom did. and she sure did pay for everything single thing i got from bangkok. oh how i love my momma. hey, i dont love her just cos she pays for everything. but really, i love her. i never thought i loved her that much till we started spending a lot more time together recently. and she's started using words like 'damn' and 'shit'! im pretty sure it wasnt me who taught her that. it must have been the brother who keeps spouting all these uncivilised lingo. okok fine, i think i use them too. sometimes.

and sometimes, i think im spoilt. i get everything i want from my parents and i hardly work for anything. in fact, my parent insists on giving me allowance instead of me working for money. how weird. cos that isnt the case with my group of friends! oh how spoilt i am. i think i would have hated myself for being such a brat if i wasnt myself. huh? ok, i didnt quite get my point.

talking about stupid. i told yien that i wanted to pretend to be stupid and not read too much into anything anymore. and she said "pretend? i dont think you would need to try very hard." hmm. remind me why we're still such good friends after 8 years please. oh im going to miss you babe, come back soon. prison break and crispy mint m&ms are dearly missed too.

oh i've been writing so much crap tonight. i suppose that's what you're like when you're happy. oh yea, did i tell you that im really happy? yea im really happy :)