it'll be a long long long wait...

that's where my savings and week's allowance went to. and all she could say was 'i hate u feeb! how could u do this to me!' well, too bad that you're my best friend! but she loved it... she couldn't stop smiling all evening!

and nice peter came all the way to accompany me to get the shoes... and he made me happy all day! thanks peter... you always make me smile! and he provided me food when i was starving!

see, u get rewarded for being such a darling best friend. cos liz treated me to The Marmalade Pantry and the Palais Reneissance... sweet or sweet? it was damn good!!!

bye liz, thanks for everything you've given me! i love u forever and ever!!!

thanks to mari (above) and yien (below) i made it through today... see, the three of us still end up together...

you're always there for me yien. i seriously needed company today and you were there for me! thanks for just looking me in the eye and telling me that i'll be ok. cos i felt cared for when u did that!

at the end of the day, liz will still be my liz. and i'll always have the rest of the babes to rely on... i'll pray that God watches over us all. we'll always have each other. love u babes! :)

Simple in virture, steadfast in duty. we actually grew up together with that 'motto' in our heads, and dressed in smart white blouses and blue pinafores. playing silly games that only made sense to us. and our 'dares' to each other... we would raise our hands behind the teacher's back, or mimic her awful voice. we would scribble nonsense on our lit textbooks and doodle on each other's notebooks. i still have mine. i would wait everyday at the field during assembly and hope that you would arrive soon, cos we were always partners and i hated being alone. i remember how lonely and upset i would be whenever u skipped school. i still remember our jokes about our Amaths teacher and the way we would imitate the way he spoke, we were simply thrilled! its been 10 long but lovely years. we had fun.

i was afraid that it'll be over after grad night that year, since u were talking about your plans for NZ. thankfully, u stayed. though we got posted into different colleges, but we were just as close. the first few weeks of college was hard though. it felt really empty without u by my side. but i soon got used to it, since we still meet up after school, almost everyweek. we had less time together, but we still cared a lot for each other. you knew everything about my friends and i knew everything about yours. it didn't matter that we were both in different schools, we almost lived in each other's world. i could tell what u were thinking about, even though u like to keep things to yourself. i hope i was there for u when u needed me. cos u were there for me when i needed u. it was a long year. and i screwed it up, while u went on to second year. things changed for the both of us, but we still met up often. i got into mass com, you were busy with year2. and finally, you broke the news. i didn't know what to think. i didn't know if i wanted to be sad, or be happy, or just not think about it. but i couldn't not think about it. it was all about you and me and our friendship.

now i know what i want. i don't want you to go. but i want you to be happy. i'll let go of u. i hope you'll be happy. cos i love u. always. thank you lizzie! :)

i don't know and i still don't know.
i made a big mistake, and there's no turning back.
i have to solve this myself.
i am confused, i am blinded, i am selfish, i am stupid.

i am still the same.

the two beautiful things in my life... liz and gerri! you guys never fail to make me smile... and sadly, last sunday was probably our last outing together for a really long time. its been a hard time for all of us and i hope i was there for both of u when u needed me... whatever it may be, i'll always be there to share your troubles. im, after all, happy feebee! :)

pretty things... coffee was good!

i love u both the way you are!

smile for feebee! :)

it's been a long time since you've smiled happily, gerri! and im happy that you're happy now. i just hope that you don't take things too hard or blame yourself for things that are already over. just keep walking forward and don't look back, when things are over, they're over. can't wait to see u every sunday. love u yummy jelly belly! :)

i don't know if i'll ever see your smile again, for a long long time. i'll definitely miss u. every bit! liz, you're lovely the way you are. i like u being tall, be confident about that. you don't change yourself to fit your clothes, you buy clothes to fit yourself, remember that!!! thank you for all those lovely memories... we kinda grew up together and i really can't bare to let u go, but i know you'll be happy there! just be confident with the person you are. i love u lizzie... :)

It was a happy day for HARRY POTTER!!! wheee... i went out with gerri, daph, monica, jia hui and rachel... lovely people. i really missed going out with u guys, and i never forget those silly days in IJ when we messed around and had fun! thanks for making it so special with a lovely slice of bakerzin's new york cheesecake!!! yum i loved it... it was a pleasant surprise! i love u guys... :)

see, monica and gerri are happy!

and this is jia hui! lovely thing...

and of cos, gerri and i! sweeeeet...

monica's silly face never fails to cheer me up!

and that's daph! i just love hanging out with u all!

It was a big big surprise!!! and it made me horrible tired... but i had fun! this was the secret surprise party that yien's mom, mari and i had been planning for a whole month!!! can u imagine how i tried so hard to keep it from her??? well, i managed to...! :)

i love u yien... now and always! (btw, that's the bday girl we surprised! lucky babe!)

peter, you're always the sweetest thing!

jean, can u ever smile at the camera?

liz, i'll be nothing without u... i love u the most!

peter with his usual nonsense... and he had to come in between liz and i!

mari, you're pretty the way u are... love u babe!

that was the craziest time we had at the party... haha... crazy girls screaming and shouting at the sparklers!!!

i've been keeping something for weeks. its finally gonna be over this evening! and i know it'll be hell of a time. when she finds out, she'll be on top of the world. She doesn't know anything about this. She is sad. She thinks that she's left all alone.

I've been a terrible friend.

she cried. she was upset. she is still upset. i left her alone when she needed me. im sorry. i really love u. i should have given u more. i hate to see u go, but i know you'll be happier there. we'll always have each other.

God bless.

It was another day in school... we had writ com tutorial... but, it wasn't as usual after all.
a librarian from school came in to give us a lecture on the various search tools in the sch site... how interesting... just look at the faces of my classmates...

Then i started getting really restless, and so i whipped out my lovely phone and started snapping away... obviously, kamilia isn't paying attention either.

yeah and i tried to take a pic with jaime... and she obviously refused... but i guess i look good without her anyway! hah...

yeah, as i said, she was more interested in something else... not the class, but the picture of some hot guy she can't stop talking about! silly girl...

but, feebee's really good at convincing people anyway... so i managed to grab her over and snapped us two pretty ladies!

and she got really obsessed with her face! argh... she snatched my phone and snapped herself! thankfully, my phone still works!

yay, class is finally over... and erm, yeah... raf and ade happened to be in my way, on my way out... so i turned around and snapped them too! silly things...

whee... of to lunch! sexy chicks showing off their asses! and erm... jaime, you're in the way!

now this chick sat down next to me for lunch... guess who? she refused to let us see her face...

and when i finally got to snap her... she erm... obviously wasn't happy! she's one chick u don't wanna mess with! yeah qiaolin?

there sits evon, next the jaime digging into her lunch and she didn't even say grace! horrid thing!

yum yum! that's my lunch... i was so hungry, yet i couldn't stop snapping pics!

now guess what these guys got? urgh...

waah! its prata... horrid people... these stuff are like a million calories and they'll stick to ur ass forever!!! ok but who cares... we all eat it anyway! hah...

and here's rachel, digging into her dessert... obviously yummy! wheee...

see, today, isn't that usual after all... it was FUN! wheeeeee...

thank u gerri for all that you've done for me! no words can ever describe the wonderful friendship we share... i'll always be there for u no matter what! :)

the second week of school was... interesting... you'll understand why when u read on...

during written communication, my tutor picked up my writing. i was kinda excited that my class would hear about my silly ideas on the given topic: recycling. sadly... he couldn't really read my attrocious handwriting, like how mrs ho use to comment, and everything just came out wrong! oops...

then it was IAC (individual and community) i had to read out a description of myself, an activity that we had to do. hmm... how fun, its like the first day of class and i hardly know anyone, and im gonna either make myself liked, or be shunned by everyone! it was, as i said, interesting...

thursday was speech communication, and how 'lucky'... i was the first person to speak! right... so i just did what i had to do, give a speech on my: hobby. i rattled on about my hobby of kickboxing, and yeah, being a fitness freak! and i thought it was pretty okay, besides shivering under the icy cold air of the air-con... and chuckle a little at the silly faces of my classmates... it was quite fun, im not exactly scared of talking to a crowd, i mean, i sang the national anthem like 10 times infront of the school and said the pledge twice... so how scary can it be to talk to a crowd of twenty? not as easy as u think... i had many habits, mostly bad. my tutor commented that my speech was really engaging, and she liked the way i spoke... just that i kept trying to 'hide' my hands, like shoving them in my back pockets, like i was 'scratching my ass'! haha... that's what she really said! i was kinda embarassed... yet, its really a terrible habit of mine, sometimes, i really dunno where to keep my hands, and i never knew it actually seemed so bad in my back pockets! haha...

i was late for radio on friday. lesson started at 11am, and i rushed in at 11.25am... how punctual! well, partly for my clumsiness and terrible habit of taking my own sweet time... i dropped my ipod while packing my bag and ARGH! the click wheel sunk in and i couldn't turn it on or off!!! i really freaked out, i was gonna cry... i sat staring at it for like 2 mins, wondering what to do with it... then i decided to try to drop it again.. and whee... it worked! the click wheel popped back up! but that wasn't such a great achievement... i had to get to school in 30mins to be considered present, and that was impossible!!! yeah thanks to my really nice tutor, he just marked me present anyway...

i like school! :)

im too old to cry,
i hate to say goodbye.
the pretty thoughts we shared,
the little things u cared.

im not afraid of space,
just that i can't see your face.
i count each day like falling petals,
we only had fun, never battles.

silly times we always had,
you never failed to make me glad.
you always made me happy and free,
friends forever, we'll always be!

walking through a dark, strange place,
that i have never been.
the sinister whispers and haunting presence,
im really not quite keen.

inside hides an honest creature,
one that i almost know.
yet it's my worst enemy,
my most hated foe.

crazy lies and silly thoughts,
i never want to see.
i close my eyes and pray,
that they don't come near me.

yesterday was great... i had fun and im really happy! like... really! i was happy! and i still am! :)

well, i could have been happier with all my poor friends who are busy studying... but it's the thought that counts and just having them wish me happy birthday was enough to make me smile! :)

peter, u won first prize for being the earliest to wish me... erm, maybe a minute too early la...
and lizzie!haha... u were the last to wish me... thanks for ending my day so nicely! :)

thanks guys for everything! i really had fun and i can't wait for my next birthday! haha... though i have yet to cut a cake this yr, but haha... who cares... cakes make u FAT! wheeee... :)

thanks jesse, jaime, shah and lye urn for coming out with me... and the pretty presents and yummy chocolates i had! ooh... i want more!!! haha... but that will be greedy of me! yum... but chocolates are still the bestest things aren't they? well, i really can't wait till the A'levels are over... im dying to meet up with my babes again! im really dying... i'll prob be dead by then actually... haha... then it'll be heaven with u guys again! cos it'll be fun, fun and more fun!!! :)

why can't i ever blog intellectual stuff like liz and yien? hmm...

whee... its a few more mins to my birthday...

my parents just gave my a new mobile! and daddy just gave my $50 for tmr's outing! whee...
i can't believe i finally turned 18... i wished for that a million years ago... yet... i wish i was still 16 today. so many things have happened and so many new responsibility i have to take now... yet, its a whole new beginning and i am somehow still... Happy! :)

im just thankful to God, that after this whole year of my unstable faith in him, he still loves me for who i am... i realised that i really love my family... this whole school vacation made me realise that i don't hate my parents, that i don't hate my brother... this few weeks, we've been happy together and i love that feeling! i guess i have matured from that silly teenager stage where parents are your worst enemies... and brothers are assholes!haha...

i love my friends a whole lot! thank you all for making me happy... i never hold grudges, and i never care for what u all did in the past... for now... you guys mean the world to me! especially u lizzie! i love u the way u are... you're my bestest friend, the best i can ever ask for... thanks for being such a darling all these years...

of cos not forgetting my other babes: yien, mari, jean, gerri, peter... if not for your company... i would never know the meaning of FUN! wheee...

God bless u guys... :)